As She Was Sleeping
by Efil Lacisum
Summary: PAIRING: JACOBxBELLA. Companion to As I Lay Waking. Jacob has just rescued Bella from the dangerous currents after her daring cliff dive. This is just a fill in of the time during which Bella was sleeping on Jacob's couch. Oneshot. Jacob's PoV.


She just lay there.

And I just watched her.

Even in her sleep, she looked so empty.

Bella's chest rose and sank with each breath she took. She lay on her side, curled slightly, with a vacant expression on her face. She looked so small on my couch, so pale. As I had done so many times before, I secretly cursed the bastard who did this to her. He had left her like this, empty, emotionless. He must have known how she felt about him, and still he had crushed her and left without picking up the pieces. I knew that she was broken on the inside. I also knew it would take all of my efforts to make it right again. I wanted to make it right again. I wasn't sure how much longer I could stand letting her stay like this.

Suddenly her brow ruffled and she curled up tighter, her body releasing a compulsive shiver. I had forgotten how cold it was for her. I tiptoed to my bedroom, grabbed the comforter thrown in the corner of my room, returned to the living room, and silently slid it over her shivering form. She clutched the edges of the comforter instinctively, relaxed slightly, and was still. I stood over her for a moment before returning to my spot on the floor, sitting down ever so quietly.

I saw a slight smile play across her lips. It was barely noticeable. If I hadn't been watching her for so long, I wouldn't have even seen it. She mumbled something very softly, shifted her weight around a little, and settled back into slumber. I felt myself smiling a little. It felt good to know that she was safe now, and as much as I would rather not have felt so, there was a slight swelling of pride in knowing that _I_ had saved her, not her precious little bloodsucker.

It hit me pretty hard not long before then that I could have lost her today. The thought made me shudder despite how warm I was. I wasn't sure what I would have done without her. Watching her go over that cliff was the scariest thing in the world, and trying to find her in those currents was just as scary. No, I thought, the fact that _it _was there was the scariest thing in the world. There had been no mistaking what I had seen in the water earlier today. That leech was after her still, and I knew I had to keep an extra close eye on Bella to make sure she was safe. I suddenly panicked a little and tuned in more closely to the other's thoughts. Nothing to worry about.

In the time I had been thinking, the smile had vanished from Bella's face, leaving that empty, hollow expression that I was becoming uncomfortably accustomed to in its place. My thoughts again returned to the vampire, Edmund or Ethan or whatever his name was. I couldn't understand how he could take such a wonderful girl and have her all to his own and then just ruin everything and leave her hurt and alone. It was and unfathomable idea to me. Didn't he know how lucky he was? Didn't he see how much I loved her, too?

I wished secretly that perhaps she was dreaming about me. I cared for her so much, more than her vampire ever could. If he had loved her even close to as much as I did, he wouldn't have left her like that. Even now, months later, she was withdrawn, and according to Charlie, she still had screaming fits at night. If I ever saw that dirty bloodsucker again… I didn't know what I would do. I was working so hard to pull her back out, to bring the real Bella back to the surface. I knew she was buried in there somewhere. For a while, it seemed so impossible that I almost lost all hope. But now, even though she was still quiet and reserved, I could see the shadow of the sparkle she used to have in her eyes. She was beginning to smile, even if they were small and fleeting, after months of being completely expressionless. Maybe soon, she would even start to laugh. I wanted that. I needed that. There was nothing more I wanted to do than to restore Bella to her old self, and I would do everything in my power to make sure it happened. And I would continue to protect her, of course. Even if it meant we could never be anything more than friends, it killed me to know how hurt she was and I wanted so much to right it.

God, how badly I wanted more. I knew she didn't see me in that way, but I saw in her so much that I knew would make me happy. She would be my perfect girl, if only she had feelings for me like I had for her. I daydreamed a little of what it would be like to have her for my own, how wonderful things would be. Maybe, just maybe, I could restore her so much that she wouldn't want to even think about the vampire. Maybe I could get her past him… and then I could show her just how much I would make her happy.

She stirred, and I lurched back to reality. She pouted slightly and whimpered. I had been afraid of this. Her eyes began to tear and I could hear sound building up in her throat. I crawled quickly to the couch and watched her. She began to groan and her eyes overflowed. Suddenly, she let out the most heart-melting cry I had ever heard. She shuddered and sobbed, and I felt my face begin to fall. This wasn't the Bella I wanted. It hurt to see her like this. I had known it would probably happen, I had even been warned against it as I carried her back to my house, but I had never imagined it would be this painful to see.

I stroked her face ever so gently and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. Her eyes fluttered a little, and I feared she would wake, but she didn't. She seemed to be in almost a dreamlike trance. "Ja… Jacob?"

My muscles tensed as she said my name. I adjusted my position so that I was sitting on the very edge of the couch. I held her up and cradled her in my arms "It's me, Bella, I'm here."

I could tell she wasn't really awake, but she continued to talk quietly, her speech slurring slightly. "Are you… are you okay? Am I okay?"

"Yes, we're both safe. Don't worry."

"Okay," she sighed. Her body relaxed a little and I assumed she had gone back to sleep. Even still, I sat there, just holding her, thankful that she was alive.

"Jake?" The whisper was so quiet I almost didn't hear it. She remained in her half-asleep state.

"Yes, Bella?"

"I love you."

A tear slid down my cheek as I pulled her closer to me. "Oh, Bella," I whispered, "I love you, too."


End file.
